First of all, what is trauma?

The concept of trauma is now talked about more regularly, but there’s still some confusion around its meaning. What is “trauma”? What exactly qualifies as a “traumatic event”? How does trauma impact us? How can I tell if it’s impacting me?

Trauma is defined as an emotional response to an event that causes extreme distress and/or threatens our sense of safety (physical, emotional, psychological, etc.). Let’s break this down a bit more. The term “emotional response” refers to a variety of symptoms - including, but not limited to, flashbacks, nightmares, feeling “on edge”, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and others. A “distressing event” can be a singular event (the death of a loved one, a car accident, etc.), or can take the form of prolonged exposure to recurring stressors (i.e. childhood trauma, religious trauma, racial trauma, etc.)

What exactly does “trauma therapy” mean?

Taking a thoughtful look at our past can help us recognize and understand the impact of traumatic experiences on our behaviors, beliefs, and relationships (i.e. emotional responses to trauma). You can learn to identify your trauma triggers - the words, feelings, and places that transport us (either mentally or physically) to a memory or feeling from the past, and leave us feeling angry, hurt or unsafe. Together, we can offer compassion and nurturance to your former self, understanding and validating the impact of your traumas. We will also practice tools and strategies to reorient your body and mind to the present, and regulate in moments of distress.

An important note: the therapeutic relationship is just that - a relationship. To me, that means that trust needs to be developed over time, with you sharing your story and your wounds at a pace that feels comfortable for you. I am not in the business of recklessly rehashing your painful experiences. I want us to develop trust and a sense of safety, and move thoughtfully through processing your past, with tools to help you regulate along the way.

While trauma is often referenced as a catch-all term, different kinds of traumas can impact us differently.

Childhood/Developmental Trauma

Those who experienced childhood abuse and/or neglect (often referred to as childhood or developmental trauma) often developed and utilized protective strategies throughout their childhood. They learned to be on high alert - always scanning their surroundings, checking for ulterior motives, and keeping others at a safe distance. While in some ways these behaviors can serve as strengths (you probably identify as someone who is good at reading people and are quick to pick up on red flags), when we are no longer in active danger, these strategies can get in the way of our ability to connect in relationships - whether platonic or romantic.

When you were younger you learned that people are not trustworthy or consistent; this belief about others leads to a relationship template (or in therapy terms, an attachment style) underlined with fear. You only let others get so close, because letting them in fully would be reckless and dangerous. Or perhaps when they start to seem less invested, you feel a sense of panic and pull away - “I’ll just get ahead of it and end things before they do.”

I want to emphasize that these protective strategies are our bodies’ incredible way of evolving to self-protect. For a time, these behaviors were critical to your emotional and/or physical survival. However, the goal is to now self-reflect and explore whether these protective mechanisms are still needed and/or benefiting you. How may they be getting in the way of your ability to let others in? How may they be holding you back from experiencing genuine and authentic connection with others? What from our past are we projecting onto our present and those around us?

Religious Trauma

Those who have a history of involvement within religious institutions have a wide spectrum of experiences. For some, religion has been a place of peace, comfort, community, hope and belonging. For those who have had this positive, connective experience - I am so grateful, and I hope you continue to find solace and community in your religious organizations. For others, religion has been a place of oppression, condemnation, exclusion, sexism and silencing. For the latter, the instilled fear and shame associated with this approach to religion has lasting effects.

Individuals grappling with religious trauma often find themselves navigating conflicting emotions and beliefs; the constant internal struggle to unlearn harmful beliefs and honor personal truths can breed a pervasive sense of anxiety. This anxiety may stem from the fear of not measuring up to religious standards or facing retribution for perceived shortcomings. In a belief system where fear and shame are used as the means to curate obedience, it’s no wonder we become quite skilled at shaming ourselves. When everything is labeled as “good” or “bad, “sinful” or “holy”, - how could we not fall into this black-and-white thinking and box ourselves into these same labels?

Moreover, the self-denial inherent in many religious teachings can exacerbate feelings of self-doubt and self-deprecation, as individuals suppress their authentic selves in favor of conforming to rigid expectations. This self-censorship can lead to a profound sense of alienation from oneself and others; what do I actually believe to be true? Can I trust myself and my own internal knowing? Can I trust others to accept me if my beliefs are different from theirs?

In daily life, the impact of religious trauma can be all-encompassing, influencing relationships, career choices, and our self-image. Healing from such trauma often involves untangling the knots of shame and anxiety, reclaiming autonomy over one's beliefs, and fostering a sense of self-compassion rooted in acceptance and understanding.

*This is not a comprehensive list of trauma sources and/or categories, rather, examples and elaborations of a few types of trauma that I specialize in. Trauma can also stem from racial trauma, immigration trauma, interpersonal violence trauma, etc. If you would like support in an area of trauma not detailed above, please reach out to chat.